do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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