cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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