moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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