I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He? As in you personified your dick?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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