I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the condom got lost in my hair
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You have to summon your inner elephant
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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