Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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