Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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