I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we're making bets on your personal life
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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