Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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