Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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