it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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