so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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