Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was CRYING into my vagina
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize