I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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