Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize