You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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