So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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