I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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