I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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