Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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