I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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