Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize