i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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