Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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