When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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