I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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