ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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