It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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