We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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