please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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