thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize