FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize