I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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