Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize