Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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