Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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