And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You did what with his pubic hair?
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