Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
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The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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