none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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