My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Vodka?
Forever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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