That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize