It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
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My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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