I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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