Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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