At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize