Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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