Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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