just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize