If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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