she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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